


I'm Not That Short

by androgynousclintbarton



Category: Naruto
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Crack, Fluff, Gai is exactly 3 inches taller than Kakashi, M/M, Short people jokes, and he will never let Kakashi live it down, and this angers Kakashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28795923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousclintbarton/pseuds/androgynousclintbarton
Summary: Gai gains immense pleasure from making short jokes at Kakashi's expense, completely ignoring the fact that he's only three inches taller than Kakashi.Kakashi does not like this, but for some reason he can't bring himself to hold it against Gai.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy
Comments: 5
Kudos: 69





	I'm Not That Short

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bucket_Yutou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bucket_Yutou/gifts).



A jokester. 

Gai thought he was a jokester. It was going to be his new career and he was going to make everyone in the world laugh because he was so damn funny. No one would be safe from his perfect, hilarious jokes.

He’d change the world with just how funny he is.

“You look upset, Rival,” Narrowing his eyes, Kakashi glared over at his friend from his hiding place under the tree. Having removed himself from the small group of friends that had gathered there that morning he hoped to avoid any further commentary from Gai. Apparently his plan was not going to work. “Do you not like our plans to go out to Ichiraku Ramen for lunch? It’s ok if you’re worried about sitting on the stool, I’ll help you up.”

The small group burst into laughter, and Kakashi’s rage only grew. 

“I’m not even that short!” He snapped “Genma, Ebisu shut up! You’re both the same height as me!”

“Are you sure about that, Rival?” Gai took a moment to look between him and the two men currently holding onto each other's shoulders to keep themselves standings. “I don’t think you’re right at all. Genma at least comes up to my chest.”

Genma doesn’t even argue with Gai over the jab even though he’s clearly only a few inches shorter than the bastard, just like Kakashi. Instead, he actually falls over laughing. 

At least he was having fun with this. Kakashi certainly wasn’t.

“Come on,” It takes a considerable amount of effort not to crawl out of his skin when Gai shows up directly in front of him. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to just how fast Gai was. “If you’re nice I’ll even let you sit on my shoulders during the festival tomorrow so you don’t miss anything all the way down there.”

“I am three inches shorter than you!” He finally snapped, surging forward to tackle Gai to the ground. There was no intent to hurt behind the tackle, which is probably why Gai let him get away with it instead of slamming him onto his back right away. “Quit it with the short jokes!”

For a second he thinks Gai might actually listen. There’s a soft look of contemplation, and even remorse for a second.

Only a second though, and then it’s gone and Gai’s right back to where they started.

“My papa always said the shorter a person is the angrier they are. Such a tiny body can’t hold that much anger i guess, so you just have to let it out more than us taller people.’

Why was he friends with this asshole again?

Oh, right. No one else liked him as a kid and this was his punishment. Putting up with endless ‘short jokes’ for the rest of his life.

* * *

  
Quiet. 

Peace and quiet after a long, grueling day of endless D rank missions with his team. No Naruto screaming in his ear, or Sasuke pouting in a corner somewhere, or Sakura trying to desperately prove that she is the only normal person on their team. 

Just him, his book, and the sound of the wind in his ears.

“Rival!” Scratch that. Peace and quiet was simply not something he was going to get today. “I almost didn’t see you there, you're so tiny. Have you shrunk?”

How was it that Gai, his best friend in the whole world, the man that he would throw down his life for, was so damn annoying?

“Don’t you have students to go teach?” He asked through clenched teeth. 

“The three of them have decided to spend some time bonding as a team over lunch,” Gai dismissed his comment with a shrug of his shoulders and a smile that’s all too innocent for the man who just said hello with a short person joke. “I was going to do laps around Konoha before going for lunch myself, but now that I’ve found you we should do a challenge.”

First a short joke and then a demand for a challenge?

Gai really was pushing his luck today, but Kakashi could do that. He rarely ever got snippy during their challenges so maybe he’d get a break from the short jokes today. It would be the first time in a week he wouldn’t have to hear one of them leaving Gai’s mouth every five minutes.

“Fine,” snapping his book shut he reached back and carefully tucked it away in his pouch. “What kind of challenge do you want today?”

Gai’s eyes lit up and Kakashi knew right away that he was in trouble, but at least he wouldn’t have to hear any more short jokes for a while. Plus he did have to admit that Gai looked kind of cute when he was excited. 

* * *

“How’s the weather down there?” Looking up, Kakashi glared at the arm now awkwardly positioned on top of his head. How was that even comfortable for Gai? He had his arm wedged up at such a weird angle just to pull this joke off.

Kakashi would at least give him points for dedication.

“It’s fine,” he reached up and shoved Gai’s arm away from his head. “You’re blocking my sunlight.”

“Right, sorry,” Taking a step back, Gai beamed when Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

“I was reading,” emphasis on ‘was’. He never got to keep reading when Gai was there. His friend demanded too much attention when they were together and these days he wasn’t one to deny Gai. Not when he had such a pretty smile whenever Kakashi was acknowledging him. “Let me guess, challenge?”

Gai shakes his head ‘no’. A surprising response considering they haven’t had a challenge in a few days.

“Then what would you like?”

“I was thinking about lunch,” Pointing towards the market nearby, Gai’s smile only grows. “We haven’t had a chance to just sit down and relax for a while. Maybe we can have a challenge after.”

Well at least he knew Gai wasn’t sick. He’d never turn down the chance at a challenge unless he was feeling under the weather, and even then he’d try to push himself to ‘test his boundaries’.

It rarely worked out well for him on those days.

“I could go for some Miso Soup,” he agreed, suddenly noticing that he was feeling hungry. Maybe he should have gone out for lunch with his team when they offered, but then he’d be stuck eating Ramen. Again. “The usual place?”

“That sounds like a grand idea,” Gai agreed with that stupid beautiful smile of his. The one that made Kakashi melt in his spot and brought up the weird urge to just kiss it off of his stupid happy face. “Do you want me to give you a piggyback ride there? I know it’s tiring running around on such short legs all the time.”

Ok, maybe he didn’t want to kiss him after all. 

“I hate you,” Gai’s arm came down around his shoulder and pulled him right up against his side. “I hate you with the burning passion of youth.”

“Not quite what the springtime of our youth is for, but I'll give you points for trying,” Gai chuckled. “Race you to lunch?”

Challenge after food his butt.

“Fine,” shoving himself away from Gai, he couldn’t help but smirk when an idea came to mind. “Loser has to pay for lunch.”

Not the most creative punishment he has ever come up with, but he always liked getting a free meal out of his friends, and Gai wasn’t as weak to compliments as Tenzo. 

“Agreed,” Gai nodded his head, getting into position beside Kakashi. “3...2...1…”

“When I win you have to kiss me.” Kakashi threw out just before Gai said ‘Go’ and burst forward to start the race, unable to stop himself from laughing when he looked back to see Gai standing there with wide eyes and a stunned look on his face.

“W- Hey!” Gai scrambled forward, desperate to catch up to his rival. 

Personally, Kakashi didn’t hold out much hope for actually winning the race. Gai was faster than him at the end of the day so it would make sense for him to catch up and even surpass Kakashi with each.

But the thought of getting to finally kiss that handsome face because he won a race to lunch?

Well, that made all of the ‘short jokes’ he’d put up with over the last few months a little more bearable.

* * *

Lunch had not happened.

Not that the two of them hadn’t actually wanted to get lunch. Even now Kakashi’s stomach was growling angrily at him demanding food, but he had so much better things to do. More enjoyable things to spend his time on.

“We really should get some food,” Gai’s voice is beautiful post sex. Intoxicating, even. If he wasn’t already completely drained of energy he would jump Gai all over again. For now though all he could do was press another gentle kiss against Gai’s collarbone. “Are you too tired to move, rival?”

“Well, you know how it is,” Laying his head down on Gai’s chest he closed his eyes and listened to the light thump of his heartbeat. “Us short people have less space to store energy, so we run out quicker.”

He’s not sure he has ever heard Gai laugh louder than this moment and it’s absolutely beautiful. 

A hand settled in his hair, and the feeling of fingers gentle combing through the short silver strands sends shivers down his spine. There is no place he would rather be right now. No place that feels more at home than here in Gai’s arms.


End file.
